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Short Hair high hopes...

I was reading an article in the Sunday paper about hair extensions  which filled me with such rage which seems somewhat imbalanced for an article on hair vanity. The article implied throughout that long hair was the key to femininity and accompanying that the possession of long hair was the key-no not even the key-the only way that men could possibly find one attractive.
Where do I start on how wrong and offensive this seems? I’ve had short hair my whole life, mainly because quite frankly my hair is of the fine limp sort that resembles rats tails when allowed to grow longer than shoulder length.  But even I when debating cutting my hair off to its current ‘pixie cut’ style shortness whether this was a good idea. Why? Because media and society lead us to believe that short hair is unfeminine, that we will automatically look like a boy if we do. But apparently gluing someone else’s hair to your scalp somewhat resembling a dead animal makes you instantly the epitome of femininity and irresistible to all men.
Did anyone tell Audrey Hepburn when she cut her hair off she was no longer feminine enough? Was Twiggy not attractive to men? Does anyone think that Emma Watson looked better with her school girl long hair than when she cut it off? Is my hair really the first/only thing men look at?

It drives me even more mad when girls also measure themselves by their hair. A student last week told me 'she'd cry' if anyone ever cut off her hair. And anyone who has ever watched America's Next Top Model' knows the hysterics that ensue wheneve Trya gives them a haircut (the best episode of any season by far!) You are not your hair! It's just hair-you will not be any less of a person or a girl if you can't sit on it!

And why on earth is hair the key measure of femininity? I am a girly girl, my work wardrobe is a parade dresses and heels, I love make up and my nails are rarely not painted. I love pink and own a coat a garish shade of which many Drag Queens would shy away from.
On the other hand I’m led to feel guilty about my girlishness by some. Why should I be ashamed of a love of pink? It doesn’t mean I’m not intelligent; I’m doing a phd for goodness sake! I’m also tough. I grew up mostly outdoors riding horses and working on a farm, I’m not afraid of hard work or getting dirty. If I want a room painting or something fixing I’ll go at it with the hammer and drill first rather than ask for help. No I can’t use technology (seriously I can’t even illegally download films, what kind of 21st Century girl am I?) and I have zero interest in any sports that don’t involve horses. Do any of these really comment on my femininity? Are any of these related to my hair? No, it’s just who I am.  

So does that strength translate as imposing? Somehow masculine? I also wondered last week when a scary Personal Trainer type at the gym called me ‘intimidating’ now on one hand don’t get me wrong, that’s a definite win for me, on the other I worry. My mother also has told me multiple times ‘Men are scared of you’ as an explanation as to why nobody asks me out.
 So yesterday on (and I hate to evoke the V-word here) that day when all single people are reminded my Hallmark of their tragic status (please not the sarcasm in my typing here) I asked the question of myself: Short hair and cleverness, are these my romantic undoing? If so I am filled with rage at society and conclude that I will remain single. But then I stop and take a look around and I think-I’m a decent person, I’m clever, I’m not unattractive, I like to think I’m fairly amusing, I can hold a conversation. And yet the world is filled with girls unattractive in personality who are paired up and have never questioned any of this.

So if I had a long mane that I could swish at the boys, fluttered my eyelashes at them instead of blinking them at my computer screen struggling with yet another sentence then I wouldn’t be alone? Well part of me says screw you I like my hair this way and my brain engaged. But then we all have moments of weakness too, the moments when the voices in your head say a phd doesn’t give you a hug at the end of the day, it wont take care of you if you’re sick. And I’m not immune to that feeling, in fact at the moment I feel it quite potently.
But I’m not growing my hair or giving up that pink coat for anyone.  

In the interests of fair analysis here is the hair both longer and short.


  1. I have pretty regular urges to shave my hair off. Really short. I want to know what I'd look like with a buzz cut! I want to see what it feels like to have my shorn head rubbed by curious people (and me, damn near constantly, in all probability)!

    And yet, because of the things I'm told people would assume about me, I don't do it. Even covering one's hair is a big deal; Ben told me I looked like a cancer patient when I wore a bandana over my hair. My ex told me he wouldn't be as attracted to me if I had short hair.

    I'm pretty sure some of my friends are fed up of hearing me say I want to do it, and never getting the courage too. Wish I knew a method to get past the fear of what society will think, and just do it because I want to.

  2. *the courage to (oh my gosh how embarrassing, please ignore typo!)

  3. haha I'll forgive you a typo, dare say there's a fair few of my own there somewhere...

    It is funny how much weight people place on a thing as daft as hair! I'd say do it if you want to-it's only hair it grows! or cut it short first and then see-less of an adjustment. I don't know! And by the way I don't think Ben is in any position to judge anyone's hair choices ;)

  4. This is one man's opinion. Personally, I much prefer short hair.

    Not sure why most men think otherwise (and I'm not even sure if that is true.), but conventional thinking about this frustrates me.

    Why is this an issue? My girlfriend fears the judgement of others when it comes to hair length, so she keeps it long. She knows of my preference, but I don't make it an issue because hair has no relevance in why I love her.

    If I saw you at a function with the Bob on the left, I'd think "Pleasant woman, warm, happy."

    If I saw you with the pixie, I'd have trouble keeping my eyes off you.


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